A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
