i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
