i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
