So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
