she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
