Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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