I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
