Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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