So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
