I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
