Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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