You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize