Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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