You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
