I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
