How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
