Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
