why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
