tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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