i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
