Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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