He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
