I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Mom said you looked used
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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