What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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