I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
