There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
