remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
