We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
