I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
