Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
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