so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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