I'm lost and stupid without you.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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