OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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