I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You're like the curious george of whores
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize