It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
