Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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