she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
