dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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