I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
