The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize