i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
