Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
