So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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