please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
How does one acquire holy water?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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