Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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