I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
