No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
