I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I looked at my own cervix.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
