Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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