his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
