why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
