We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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