im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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