just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
