what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
