That's intense
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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