i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
