I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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