Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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