I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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