Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize