so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
