A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
