What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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