this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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